The Years Of Perfection, Jude x Willem, A Little Life
by TehBunni
Summary: Every time I finish a book I don't like, I fix it. After I do, I check if others have fixed it online. For this book, "A Little Life", I found nothing. So, here it is, my fix. My happy ending. What Jude deserved, and what Willem can give him. Yes I know it's normal for people to die randomly in life, but the genre's called "fantasy". What you did was an easy out, Hanya Yanagihara.


" **Tell me, Jude!** " he had said. And eventually, with an ashamed whisper, Jude had told him. How he simply couldn't enjoy sex, not even with him, the one person he had ever trusted. How it was causing him to cut himself more. And then Jude told him other things, darker things, so much so Willem had to excuse himself, and rush to the shower. When he came back, Jude was hurt, but when he snuggled up behind him, he remained still, allowing it. At least they would have this, he thought. At least they would have this.

It has been three weeks since then, when Willem found Andy drinking coffee at the small café which was close to his office. On the fly, he decided to sit down with him, to speak with him, to confide in him. Soon enough, a plan was hatched. A risky one, a crazy one, but a plan nonetheless. A plan so odd it might just work.

Back home, Willem begun the preparations, making the fresh juice Jude always liked. Jude was always the one who cooked, who cleaned, who baked, but Willem still prepared a juice for him, every morning, to take with him in the office. When Jude came back the first night, nothing had changed. Willem was crestfallen, but he kept adding the medicine to the juices. Finally, eleven days later, Jude got his first erection.

Jude had told him he never got them, and that they didn't last… but this one did. Jude was hard as a rock, and for the better part of an hour. He tried to hide it from Willem, but it tented his trousers. All smiles, Willem allowed him to keep it a "secret" for now, doubling the dosage of the next morning's juice. Double the Viagra, double the aphrodisiac.

That night, the twelfth after he met with Andy, more than a month after Jude revealed he didn't enjoy them having sex… it happened. And it happened while they were both in bed. And it happened after Jude had decided that today was a good day, a day he had removed his clothes.

" **Would you… like me… to take care of it…?** " Willem offered, but Jude looked at him in horror. Too ashamed, too shameful to do it to Willem, his perfect friend Willem. He had to tell him, over and over again, that he really wanted to taste him, right down his throat, talking to him with a voice husky with desire. Eventually, Jude caved. Willem felt a little bad about that, but convinced himself it was for the best. So down he went…

At the beginning, it didn't seem to work. Physically, Jude was having a perfect erection, but emotionally, he was… blushing. Hard. He wasn't distant, not one bit, he simply couldn't. He just looked at Willem like a deer in headlights. But with every lick, with every kiss, his whole body warmed up, and then suddenly, it happened. His first orgasm. The first he ever liked. He apologized, over and over again, but Willem kept having a silly smile across his face, giving him a wink while licking the sticky offering. Somehow, Willem had enjoyed that. Somehow… he had enjoyed it too. The very first sexual act he had ever liked.

Now… he thought he was done. But looking down, his erection persevered. " **Oh** ** _no_** **…** " Willem said, giggling now, turning around, and showing him something he never thought he would see. No. There simply was no way. It was impossible. And yet, as Jude thought those things, his body moved on its own, climbing on Willem, mounting him.

For a split second, he feared he had become like Luke, or even worse like Caleb. But Willem's eyes were looking at him with such… adoration, those thoughts were dispelled as soon as they were born. Willem wanted this, there was no denying that. And then… he pushed. And it was… it was normal. No fireworks. No nothing. Jude felt a little bad, but Willem giggled. And when he did, his insides tightened, making Jude moan. Blushing, he pushed a second time, and then a third. Every time he stopped it felt normal, like nothing special, but during the push… there definitely was something there.

He wasn't sure how he was doing this. He had exactly zero experience of him being on top. But perhaps that was why it was working. He sped up, and then he understood he sped up, so he slowed down, afraid Willem wasn't enjoying this. He focused on Willem again, and then he heard it. Every time he pushed, Willem moaned. Every single time. _He_ was doing this to Willem. He was pleasing him! He, Jude, an absolute nothing, an unworthy human, was pleasing him, Willem, perfect Willem, his best friend!

Twenty minutes later, after what felt like an eternity, he came, and so did Willem, panting heavily under him and then hugging him close, laughing and kissing him, over and over again. Jude was at a complete loss of words, but it was okay. Simply looking at Willem was enough for them to speak. " ** _I know. It was amazing. I didn't expect it either. But I loved it._** " Willem was telling him with his eyes. He knew Willem was always on top, with anyone. And he had always been the bottom, when he was abused. Jude froze. This was the first time he had thought of it this way, with that word. For a split second, he had perfect clarity, but then the moment passed. Then, the hyenas started howling again, demanding their _libra de carne_ , but this time, something was different. This time… he could ignore them. They howled and howled and howled, but for as long as his afterglow lasted, he could laugh right in their faces.

During the night, in the dangerous hours, he eventually stood up, heading for the bathroom. But then, something made him stop. " **Willem?** " he whispered, touching his friend's shoulder. He opened his eyes, alarmingly fast, and looked at him. He understood, and moved to kiss Jude. Jude squeezed on him, like they had done once before, and it had worked for a while, until it didn't. " **I'm sorry, I must…** " Jude said, and he was about to stand up, when he felt it. Another erection. Seeing it, Willem laughed. And then he laughed too.

" **I think… what you** ** _must_** **do… is fuck me. Fuck me, Jude.** ** _Please_** **fuck me again.** " Willem begged, making him blush, but he nodded, and he climbed on him, this time keeping him face-up, seeing all the little faces Willem made after he started. Once again, making sure that he was in fact he who was making Willem moan like that, over and over again. He was in fact the one that was making Willem cum like that, over and over again. And in the end, he was the one that finished, deep inside his beloved Willem, and once again, while the storm went on around him, he had the strength to keep it at bay.

" **Still…?** " Willem asked, and Jude thought about it. " **No… I don't feel like cutting myself now.** " Jude admitted, looking at Willem. " **No, I meant… you're still hard? Wanna fuck me again?** " and then Jude nodded, a little embarrassed from that word. And then they did it again. And every night ever since, sometimes two, or three, or four times. And Jude's arms never looked better. And Jude had never been better, because he finally felt in control. On his loyal _steed_ , the pure-bred Willem, he felt unbeatable. And whenever he felt like it, not only was Willem ready to go, but he loved it, every single time. He couldn't even doubt that, he could see with his own eyes.

Those were the Years of Perfection. And they lasted a long time, longer than any other era. And in the end, they never ended. Who would have thought the trick would be so simple? A few special juices, and giving Jude control over something other than cutting. Sure, Willem paid with his masculinity, but soon enough… he was craving it as much as Jude was. They loved each other so much, and now they finally had it, the final piece, the one that linked everything else together in an indestructible perfection. No matter what else happened, no matter how much the hyenas howled.

Let them howl; Jude made Willem moan so much, sometimes he joked he might lose his hearing!...


End file.
